Lucina left in the middle of the night when we were back in Mara. She left without a word… I can’t say I blame her, those twins have had me wrapped around their finger ever since they’ve exploded into my life. I’m in over my head with their powers over me, and I hurt her because of it… She is better off not getting mixed up in our lives, we seem to always be either on the precipice of chaos or we’re drowning in it. Not that I’m shocked by that fact, and it makes life so much more vivid so I’m thankful. For the longest time I was just seeing life in such muted and bleak tones, and it used to be so easy to feel numb. Now I feel like everything is so vibrant, that the light makes my eyes ache. I just take that as proof that I can feel again.
More has happened in my life here in Arcadia than it ever has in Frostfall, even though Frostfall is where my life has pivoted until things came crashing down around my ears. Now my life seems to have oriented itself around the moment I met Olivia, Illivan and Kaine in that cell, and then hours later Zakathera… One could also argue it was when we all met Andromalek. One moment my greatest concern was of settling down and starting a family, and then a year and two months later I’m a wanted man in two countries, and I’m off sailing on a ship with pirates and slaying dragons in volcanoes! Andromalek is a God full of surprises. Pledging my life to him was an impulsive decision, but quite honestly I think He has done so much more good
and bad for me than I probably even realize. He stole away my excuses to just let myself rot away from the inside, and now He is thrusting me into situations I couldn’t have even dreamed I was capable of surviving through until after I have done so.
One month I have nothing to live for, and then the next my life is busting at the seams with possibilities, with danger, with hope, with riches, with intrigue… And with power. As these events blast their way through my life I seem to keep learning more and more about my magical abilities, too. My skill was low and I wasn’t as sensitive to it, but now I feel this dormant power inside myself that I’m just now starting to be able to tap into. Feeling my abilities surge through my veins as I unleash a powerful spell is more addictive than adrenaline! I keep playing with new arcane concepts when I can, and I keep running into so many possibilities I didn’t even bother dwelling on before. I can’t help but feel mad at myself for not exploring these skills. At the time I was more focused on getting along with the people of the towns I visited, but now I just look at all those years and see all that time I wasted. I can’t help but feel excited and motivated by my life, despite everything. The pain of losing Her can never go away, but it seems like I’ve become strong enough to start living, just in time for my life to start coming alive.