The Gang has Girl Problems
Once the gang notices their Halfling buddy has disappeared, they set out on a late-night search. Despite looking for an hour and talking to the guards, they are unable to find any sign of Rex. Olivia gives Kaine a gift she picked up for him in the market and he, surprisingly, has a present for her, too. A journal, so she can take out her anger on the book and not the local barkeeps. Illivan is out of commission, which leaves Olivia and Flint to save the day. Flint goes to the tavern Rex had been frequenting to speak to the bartender while Olivia went to the market to search for any signs.
Flint finds out that Rex left around 7pm last night, with a lady he had never seen before. Flint is excited by the prospect that Rex was finally able to get some.
Meanwhile, Olivia spots a Halfling carting around a large stack of fancy boxes; he’s trailing a well-dressed busty woman. Olivia is initially convinced it can’t be Rex, but a quick investigation reveals it to be their Halfling compatriot. Rather than do the rational thing and go get Flint, Olivia decides to follow them and find out where they are staying. She discovers a nice house in the merchant district, not far from the town square. Ollie tries to climb into a 2nd story window, but fails terribly. She’s spotted by a noisy old man, who won’t stop threatening to call the guard until she gives him a gold piece to be quiet.
At this point, Olivia decides to try another approach. She buys some cheap flowers from a local florist and knocks on the front door.
To her surprise, Rex answers.
“Rex!” Olivia exclaims, “what happened to you, why didn’t you come home last night?”
Rex looks around, clearly dazed. “I…I don’t know…”
Olivia bites her lip. “Rex, come on. We have to go.”
“What? Why not?” Olivia starts tugging on his sleeve.
“I don’t know, I just…can’t.”
A voice calls from the other room. “Rex, sweety. The dishes need done.”
Rex snaps to attention and turns around, leaving the door wide open. “Coming dear.” He says, as he walks into the kitchen. Olivia takes a peak around, but can’t find anything suspicious. Realizing he must be under a spell, Olivia decides she needs to find Flint and let him know what has befallen their friend.
It doesn’t take long to find Flint at the docks. Olivia, flowers still in hand, starts trying to explain what happened.
“I found Rex!” she said between breaths, her hands on her knees. “He’s with a lady, but I don’t think he wants to be.”
They discussed the possibilities for a few moments. Flint asked if maybe Rex was just attracted to a beautiful woman. Olivia relayed how dazed and confused Rex had been when he spoke to her, and how he dropped everything the second he heard her voice. Flint agreed it sounded like a spell of some sort, but the two were unsure how to break Rex out of it.
Olivia suggested that they act like salesmen of some sort to try to gain access to the house. Flint felt like they should wait until evening but Ollie wanted Rex to get them into the poker tournament that night. After a few moments of debate, they decided to act like flower salesmen.
On the way back to the busty lady’s house, the crossed paths with a Miqote-only brothel, called the Cat House. Flint was starstruck, but Ollie pulled him onwards, saying they’d have time for girls later.
They approached the house and knocked on the door. This time, a pretty woman opened the door. She was indeed busty, but probably on the wrong side of 30. Regardless, Flint and Olivia gave her their spheal and were able to subtly push themselves into her house. They kept talk fast-talking trying to stall for time. Flint asked to use the restroom and Olivia ran to the kitchen trying to get Rex. She tried pulling him out of the front-door but he struggled to the point where Ollie couldn’t carry him. She begged and pleaded, and Rex really did want to leave, he just couldn’t. As the woman started walking down the hallway, Olivia had to let Rex rush back in the kitchen just to avoid being caught. Eventually she asked Flint to go get her some flowers from the flower stall, and gave him 8gp to fetch them for her. Flint didn’t think anything of it, and took off with the money.
In order to get to the market again, Flint had to pass by the Cat House. This time, he didn’t have any outside support. He had this gold that he had pretty much gotten for free, right? An hour or so wouldn’t kill anyone. Right? So Flint slid into the Cat House and was tickled and tantalized by two beautiful black-fur Miqote beauties.
Meanwhile, Olivia sits at the woman’s house, hands neatly folded in her lap, making small talk as best she can. Flint has been gone for several hours and things are very clearly not going according to plan. She still hasn’t been able to figure out what has Rex so twisted. Ollie looks into the kitchen and notices three “WANTED” posters hanging on the wall. This is when she realizes that they are so fucked. She excuses herself to the restroom to try to figure things out. There’s no window in the bathroom, so she checks the next room. She’s almost entirely out of the window when she stops. Ollie can’t just leave Rex behind. He’s an annoying little pervert, but he’s their annoying little pervert. She resolves not to leave without Rex.
She comes out of the room and starts making a little scene trying to play off her hour-long bathroom contemplation. As she steps into the living room, she sees the woman, along with a familiar black-armored figure.
“Oh, I think it just hit me again, haha. Round two.” She grasps her stomach and runs back into the bathroom, locking it behind her. Judge Rylof cannot be here. No, no, no. And where in the world is Flint? It’s been four hours!
At the Cat House…
Flint is almost out of money, so he starts to leave the Brothel. He is almost out the door when he stops to consider what he’s doing. Twins, he thinks. Black fur. With those thoughts, he turns around and goes back into the Cat House.
Back to Olivia…
There is a knock on the bathroom door. She opens it to Rex. She pulls him in the bathroom and starts trying to talk him out of his trance. Without his jacket, Ollie can see a glowing ruby necklace around his neck. She pulls it off and smashes it hard on the ground. Rex snaps out of the charm and Olivia starts unloading everything that happened on him. “Rylof is here, Flint disappeared four hours ago…”
“Shit. Rylof is here? What are we gonna do?” Rex asked.
“Ok, ok, I have a plan. Hear me out, ok?” Rex nodded, “Ok. So the plan is…are you ready for this? The plan is…we get captured. On purpose.”
Rex looks confused. “How does that help?”
“Ok, so you and me, we can get out of any locks they put on us. They are either going to take us to the Azmin jail, which we can break out of easy. Or they will take us to the airship and we get shipped straight to Arcadia. That one is less fun,” Olivia continued, “but we have a lot of chances to escape.”
“We still got that amulet, right Olivia?” the realization dawned on him as he said it.
“Yes! That’s it Rex! You are a genius!” she gives him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “Alright, let’s go get captured.”
They come out of the bathroom and walk down the hall, back to the living area. Rylof is sitting on the couch, his large frame combined with the full plate armor making the delicate tea cup pinched between his gauntlets look comically undersized. Olivia decides to stall for time by being as obnoxious as she possibly can be.
“What do you look like under that helm, Rylof?” she asks, “are you hot? Wait, Damien is the hot one, right? Is he the hot one? I can never remember my Arcadian history. I mean, your lips are pretty kissable, gotta admit so I don’t know, maybe you ARE the hot one…” She continued to babble. Rylof sips some tea and passes a large sack of money to the woman.
“Good work as always.” He says in his trademarked deep, manly growl. He turns to face Olivia. “Shut up. You will answer my questions. Understood?”
Ollie ignores him and continues to babble.
Rylof slams his hand and the tea cup down on the table. “ENOUGH.” He yells. “Bring me the Halfling.” A few soldiers begin to move towards the two rebels.
“No, wait.” Olivia stammers, “what do you want to know?” she places herself in front of the soldiers and Rex.
“First, what are you doing for Damien? Second, where are your friends?”
“We aren’t doing anything for Damien,” she says, “he just said, ‘oh good job pissing off Rylof, I love that’ and left. Second, we all went our separate ways. Me and Flint stayed together, but the other people said they had some business to do or whatever.”
Rylof seems to consider her answers for a moment before motioning for his soldiers. “Kill the Halfling.”
Olivia puts her arms out. “Leave him out of this, he’s not involved with us. He has no idea what we are involved in. Please.” Rex takes a few steps back.
“One more chance. What are you doing for Damien and where are your friends?”
“I already answered your questions! I told you! We aren’t working with Damien. It’s just me and Flint, and I don’t know where he is, he left hours ago!”
A cocky smile graces Rylof’s smooth, luscious lips. “Oh, I know exactly where your marble friend is. Maybe he will be more cooperative.” He signs for his men to manacle Rex and Olivia.
He leads them out of the house, the two friends walking side by side. They reach the Cat House, where two gorgeous black-fur Miqote escort a very satisfied Flint outside.
“Ladies. Tit. Tat.” He says. Vines sprout from the ground and entangle Flint, who doesn’t try to fight it at all.
“So worth it.” He says with a contented smile. “so, so worth it.”
Rylof tries to interrogate Flint, but Olivia keeps talking and talker. He signals for one of the soldiers to shut her up. The soldier takes a dagger and stabs her in the shoulder. It doesn’t faze her for a minute. She keeps talking, so the soldier drags the blade down.
“Meh. Not the worst stabbing I’ve lived through.” Olivia thinks aloud. Flint looks over at her.
“Hey Ollie. Are you ready to get out of here?” he asks. Olivia considers it.
“Yeah. Are we really going to talk about this right in front of Rylof?” she asks.
“Oh yeah. On the count of three. One. Two. Three. FOR ANDROMALEK!” Flint yells, disappearing into thin air.
Olivia grasps Rex’s hand in hers and yells the same, and the two disappear into the Realm of Chaos.
Andromalek is in the middle of a tea party when the three arrive. He seems surprised to see them. He recharges the party’s amulets and gives them magical items which are less magical and, well, more cursed. Flint becomes more in-tune with his lustful side and Olivia adds another traumatizing event to her night terrors. Andromalek in his infinitely sadistic sense of humor, teleports the three ratcatchers right next to Judge Damien, relaxing at a café with a margarita, just in time to see the smoke begin rising from the Cat House.
Arcadia’s best journalist is understandably upset with the group, declaring that they’ll be working Saturday just to cover up for his hot-headed compatriot. He reveals that he knows where the party is staying and that he’ll be in touch soon…